Before Cancer

Before breast cancer in 2019, I was a normal 32 year old woman, just living life. I was starting my career, I was traveling and trying to see the world, and I was just starting my own family. God blessed me with so much in the year 2018 prior to my diagnoses. I moved into a new house, I was excelling at work, and I gave brith to the most precious, beautiful baby girl I’d ever laid eyes on. I was LIVING THE LIFE! So I was more than surprised and blind sided by the danger that was the lurking around the corner. Life was good!

Getting the news

I was driving home from work, it was a pretty sunny day outside. I pulled over to take the doctors call and received the dreadful news. “YOU HAVE CANCER!”I sat there and cried and suddenly the day wasn’t so pretty outside anymore. I was in disbelief. My heart started pounding so fast, as fear started to creep up within me. I felt afraid! I came home and cried a lot more. As I was crying on the floor of my daughters bedroom, I felt a strong presence come over me. It felt like cancer was sitting in the chair behind me, pointing it’s finger, laughing and enjoying my pain, saying “I GOT YOU”! In that moment I was reminded of how powerful the tongue is. I walked in every room of my house and spoke BOLDLY, I spoke LOUDLY, with ANGER and with CONFIDENCE “ YOU CAN’T HAVE ME”…. “ I WILL LIVE”. On that day, January 7, 2019, although still very afraid I started my fight. I started to FIGHT LIKE DANNY. I told God my daughter needed me. It wasn’t my time to go. I was determined to live and I’m Alive today! I’m filled with so much joy that I can say the words “I’M ALIVE”!

Proverbs 18:21 - KJV

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue…”

Fight like Danny

I had many low points during my fight. Why me? Why so much pain? The pain of not being able to take care of my daughter. My only child. To watch others hold and play with her, kiss her goodnight, missing out on those special milestones as a mother. That was the hardest part of my journey. When I was too tired from the chemo I remembered those words I spoke “ YOU CAN’T HAVE ME” and I pushed through it. Some days it felt like I’d never make it through. It was a whirl wind of emotions. It was a humbling experience too because it showed me just how strong I was. You really don’t realize your strength until you go through something as miserable as cancer. I came really close to death from the effects of this disease. But I realized that with God He gave me the strength to fight, to FIGHT LIKE DANNY!

After Cancer

I see my life so differently now. I don’t take anything for granted. When I think back on just how grim things were I cry, I rejoice and I appreciate life so much more! So now I love harder, I give more, and I worship God in abundance. I am adamant about helping other women who has been diagnosed with breast cancer. To give a word of encouragement, and to be a source of inspiration and most importantly to help spread the awareness of early detection. I know that I’m healed and cancer has not defined me. But it has changed my life forever.

Most won’t talk about the long lasting effects that cancer has on you physically, emotionally and financially. I personally struggle with nerve pain, memory loss, difficulty focusing, side effects of early menopause and grieving the loss of not being able to have more children. Cancer treatment is expensive and I’m still paying off medical bills from a years worth of treatment and multiple surgeries. At every oncologist check up I’m reminded of what was once there, and I pray that it hasn’t returned. Let me just say that life after cancer is still very victorious even in all of that and I cherish every moment of my life after coming so close to death. I know how precious and short life can be.

1 Peter 5:7 is what got me through and keeps me at peace, because I know if I cast my cares upon Him, He’ll care and take care of me. My life has purpose and God saw fit to keep me here for a reason. Although my life is now slightly altered to a degree, I’m still Beautiful, I’m still ME, and I’M ALIVE!

1 Peter 5:7 ~KJV

“Casting all your care upon him; for he Carter for you”